You won’t mind going that extra mile to please your partner in bed, but unfortunately you won’t know much about the mistake that you ‘inadvertently’ commit while having sex.
While men are more active during sex, so they end up being more aggressive and thus go wrong expecting their female counterpart to be equally participative. Nonetheless, women too are not far behind. Keeping their desires and apprehensions under wraps; they often end up committing several sex mistakes that tend to kill their sexual pleasure.
Here are some of the common gaffes that women admit to committing in bed. And we get the experts to share the possible ways to deal with these...
1. Let’s talk darling : Women seem to be forgetting the theory of ‘actions speak louder than words’. Insisting a lot more than guys on never-ending talks they actually end up spoiling the mood for a steamy sex romp.
Quick fix : Dr. Kanika Vohra, a psychologist shares, “Sex is about close gestures, physical intimacy and exchange of touch with your partner, so too much talking might not be invited. Women must understand the mood of the situation and accordingly cut down their discussions and concentrate more on love making that is the main objective for the night.”
2. Are you sure of this position? : Bearing apprehensions about sex positions isn’t a good idea as most women end up revealing their anxiety about trying out newer positions. Also, the fact that women are least experimental in bed, often leads to restraining their partner from experiencing full pleasure.
Quick fix : Dr. Pravesh Sharma, a Bangalore-based sexologist elucidates, “Being inquisitive is good, but that doesn’t mean you start doubting your partner’s moves in bed. It’s advisable that whatever position he is keen on trying, let him progress slowly and without getting restless, try to attain the comfort level. Still if you feel uneasy, then put forward your concerns softly.”
3. I’m done, not it’s your turn : Enjoy sex like a game, but treating it as obligation can mar your sexual bliss. The tendency which is reflected among females is a big turn off during intimate moments.
Quick fix : Dr. Ratan Mehrotra, a sex therapist states, “It’s really awful to consider sex like a give and take deal. Even if you have experienced an orgasm, make sure you hold on to the pleasure moments till your partner achieves climax. Being blunt about such things can kill his sex drive and make him feel that you are no more interested in the act.”
4. Did you enjoy foreplay? : Once done, it’s essential to come out of the foreplay hangover, which women tend to stick on to for way
too long. Repeated references to foreplay enjoyment sometimes divert the mind from the actual moments of passion.
Quick fix : Dr. Shikha Kataria, a sex and relationship counselor says, “Sex is all about enjoying the present state of mind, so women should be able to differentiate between arousing acts and real action. Mentioning it repeatedly that you had more fun during foreplay may land the lady in a tricky situation where the male partner starts losing interest in sex.”
5. Fantasies aren’t always obvious : Sexual desires are not meant to be hidden, so speak out your mind and let your partner know what you expect from them in bed. It may be difficult to express them openly, but it’s no less than a mistake when a lady starts expecting the guy to read her mind all the time.
Quick fix : “Most women feel shy in opening up and by doing so they create a vacuum in their sex life. It’s important to share your desires overtly to let your partner know what arouses you the most. Resort to mediums like writing letters, recording a tape or showing them what arouses your senses through a movie scene,” suggests Dr. Kanika.
6. Gentle touch can kill passion : Being too gentle with your touch and gestures might be insufficient to evoke the sensuous senses of your partner. As he nears climax, it’s your touch that can make or break his sexual mood.
Quick fix : “Just knowing a male’s pressure points might not solve the purpose, so know exactly how they like being touched. Once you get hold of the right trigger zones and you know how to play up in the right manner, it’s surely going to be a perfect romp,” says Dr. Sharma.
7. Relying on men for orgasm : A gratifying sexual session demands equal participation from both partners. Therefore, it’s wrong to assume that a male partner will always make efforts to get the perfect climax.
Quick fix : “Women must make efforts to show that they’re equally excited. Take charge of your own orgasm and to enhance sexual pleasure, tell him the ways in which they can excite your further and make up for a satisfying act,” asserts Dr. Mehrotra.
8. Assessing all sexual moves : It’s good to tell your partner about your likes and dislikes in bed, but keeping a check on all their moves may just turn out to be way too intrusive. Don’t sound too critical in your words as that may be another way of saying that your needs are not being met.
Quick fix : “Giving him feedback can be a good way out to express that you enjoyed sex with your man, but be cautious of the thin line between feedback and criticism. Try discussing more about what you enjoyed and gradually move on to actions that you didn’t feel too great about. This way, he would get a balanced feedback and thus improvise even more in bed the next time,” advises Dr. Shikha.
While men are more active during sex, so they end up being more aggressive and thus go wrong expecting their female counterpart to be equally participative. Nonetheless, women too are not far behind. Keeping their desires and apprehensions under wraps; they often end up committing several sex mistakes that tend to kill their sexual pleasure.
Here are some of the common gaffes that women admit to committing in bed. And we get the experts to share the possible ways to deal with these...
1. Let’s talk darling : Women seem to be forgetting the theory of ‘actions speak louder than words’. Insisting a lot more than guys on never-ending talks they actually end up spoiling the mood for a steamy sex romp.
Quick fix : Dr. Kanika Vohra, a psychologist shares, “Sex is about close gestures, physical intimacy and exchange of touch with your partner, so too much talking might not be invited. Women must understand the mood of the situation and accordingly cut down their discussions and concentrate more on love making that is the main objective for the night.”
2. Are you sure of this position? : Bearing apprehensions about sex positions isn’t a good idea as most women end up revealing their anxiety about trying out newer positions. Also, the fact that women are least experimental in bed, often leads to restraining their partner from experiencing full pleasure.
Quick fix : Dr. Pravesh Sharma, a Bangalore-based sexologist elucidates, “Being inquisitive is good, but that doesn’t mean you start doubting your partner’s moves in bed. It’s advisable that whatever position he is keen on trying, let him progress slowly and without getting restless, try to attain the comfort level. Still if you feel uneasy, then put forward your concerns softly.”
3. I’m done, not it’s your turn : Enjoy sex like a game, but treating it as obligation can mar your sexual bliss. The tendency which is reflected among females is a big turn off during intimate moments.
Quick fix : Dr. Ratan Mehrotra, a sex therapist states, “It’s really awful to consider sex like a give and take deal. Even if you have experienced an orgasm, make sure you hold on to the pleasure moments till your partner achieves climax. Being blunt about such things can kill his sex drive and make him feel that you are no more interested in the act.”
4. Did you enjoy foreplay? : Once done, it’s essential to come out of the foreplay hangover, which women tend to stick on to for way
too long. Repeated references to foreplay enjoyment sometimes divert the mind from the actual moments of passion.
Quick fix : Dr. Shikha Kataria, a sex and relationship counselor says, “Sex is all about enjoying the present state of mind, so women should be able to differentiate between arousing acts and real action. Mentioning it repeatedly that you had more fun during foreplay may land the lady in a tricky situation where the male partner starts losing interest in sex.”
5. Fantasies aren’t always obvious : Sexual desires are not meant to be hidden, so speak out your mind and let your partner know what you expect from them in bed. It may be difficult to express them openly, but it’s no less than a mistake when a lady starts expecting the guy to read her mind all the time.
Quick fix : “Most women feel shy in opening up and by doing so they create a vacuum in their sex life. It’s important to share your desires overtly to let your partner know what arouses you the most. Resort to mediums like writing letters, recording a tape or showing them what arouses your senses through a movie scene,” suggests Dr. Kanika.
6. Gentle touch can kill passion : Being too gentle with your touch and gestures might be insufficient to evoke the sensuous senses of your partner. As he nears climax, it’s your touch that can make or break his sexual mood.
Quick fix : “Just knowing a male’s pressure points might not solve the purpose, so know exactly how they like being touched. Once you get hold of the right trigger zones and you know how to play up in the right manner, it’s surely going to be a perfect romp,” says Dr. Sharma.
7. Relying on men for orgasm : A gratifying sexual session demands equal participation from both partners. Therefore, it’s wrong to assume that a male partner will always make efforts to get the perfect climax.
Quick fix : “Women must make efforts to show that they’re equally excited. Take charge of your own orgasm and to enhance sexual pleasure, tell him the ways in which they can excite your further and make up for a satisfying act,” asserts Dr. Mehrotra.
8. Assessing all sexual moves : It’s good to tell your partner about your likes and dislikes in bed, but keeping a check on all their moves may just turn out to be way too intrusive. Don’t sound too critical in your words as that may be another way of saying that your needs are not being met.
Quick fix : “Giving him feedback can be a good way out to express that you enjoyed sex with your man, but be cautious of the thin line between feedback and criticism. Try discussing more about what you enjoyed and gradually move on to actions that you didn’t feel too great about. This way, he would get a balanced feedback and thus improvise even more in bed the next time,” advises Dr. Shikha.
